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Joke of the Day

"I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets."

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"The Word Election and Erection Are Spelt Similarly. They also have the same meaning A dick rising to power!"

"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."

"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."

"What's the difference between Hitler and a marathon runner? The marathon runner can successfully finish a race"

"What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale? The Juan who lived."

"What do you call the rapid growth of Indian cities? Turbanisation"

"Russian history in 5 words: ""And then things got worse."""

"What is 6"" long and not getting sucked this Valentine's day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe"