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Joke of the Day

"Someone complimented me on my driving today They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"69ER'S GET SACKED Q: Why is 88 better than 69? A: Because you get ate twice."

"There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life... ...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college."

"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."

"Her: Why's the couch smell like pee? [Flashback to me watching The Ring alone] Me: *points at son* I think someone had another ""accident."""

"Someone asked where I'm from and I said Wisconsin. She got excited, ""Like That '70s Show!"" and I clarified, ""More like Making a Murderer."""

"A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again."

"Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago"

"Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. ""Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."""

"How can you tell if your wife has been screwing all your friends? All their dicks taste just like her twat."