18363

Joke of the Day

"Someone complimented me on my driving today They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it runs in your genes!"

"How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy. Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked."

"[Serious] Holocaust jokes are NOT funny and never will be. It's a very sore spot for many people. Personally, my grandfather died at Dachau, he got drunk and fell out of his watchtower."

"Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose."

"at the salon thinking of going darker for winter maybe i'll kill the shampoo girl"

"What do monkeys drink in space? Orangu-Tang."

"What do you a zombie eating ice cream? Braaaaaaiiiiiiin freeze"

"Breaking up with a Japanese girl is the worst... you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"If Trump wins after Obama leaves office... Does that mean that orange really is the new black?"