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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head."

"How do you get a one armed Canadian out of a tree? Wave to him!"

"How's a fart and a teenager alike? Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out."

"Yesterday I watched the movie Carrrs. Well, it was just Cars, but I pirated it."

"I needed a break from stupidity so I left work early."

"What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !"

"Micky mouse is in court and the judge says to him ""I can't grant you divorce on the fact your wife has bucked teeth"" Micky says ""I didn't say she has bucked teeth, I said she was fucking goofy"""

"You can't spell success without succ... But you'd probably get neither to be honest"

"My girlfriend from high school called today. She's stoked about getting her driver's license."

"Phone Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond! Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!"