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Joke of the Day

"Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history."

"I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm The clock turned to 12:00 and I thought to myself, ""Same shit, different day."""

"I think I'm more shocked that Rodney King had a swimming pool than that he is dead"

"This guy. This guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes outta no where."

"Your mama's so fat We are all genuinely concerned about her health."

"I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again."

"Don't be russian Or you'll be stalin"

"Why are vaginas called beavers? because beavers eat wood"

"I took a class on 'The Silence of the Lambs' It was a Hannibal lecture."

"You only live once. Make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet daily, desperately seeking validation from strangers."