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Joke of the Day

"My favorite word is onomatopoeia.. I just like how it sounds"

"I hate reddit because... ...you cannot take a joke!"

"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."

"Did you hear about the murder of the door maker? The police said it was an open and shut case."

"A boy walks into a butchers and asks for a pound of kidelies Do you mean kidneys? asks the butcher. boy: I said that didelie?"

"Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late? Procrastination!"

"My math teacher used to call me average.... It was mean."

"Some people have trouble sleeping... ...but I can do it with my eyes closed..."

"Tardiness makes me extremely angry. As my late wife found out."

"[first date] OK don't let her know you're a snail Waiter: Would you like some salt? [flips table over] OH HELL NO [bolts out real slowly]"