105445

Joke of the Day

"I found out I'm a necrophiliac. How, you ask? I walked into an autopsy. It was stiff."

"I've fallen into a sar chasm. Totally didn't break my legs! It's a regular party down here!"

"It's hard to be Japanese. You know why? It's because I'm Chinese."

"What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves; the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!"

"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"

"A bear walks into a bar the bartender said ""What would you like?"" and the bear said ""I want... a beer please"" then the bartender said ""Why the big paws??"""

"why can't coffee conduct electricity? because it is grounded"

"I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled It's crippling"

"Strategy du jour for combating 5 & 7yo's over-competitiveness: ""First person to say it's a race loses."""

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"