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Joke of the Day

"Why did the gynecologist giggle during the pap smear? I don't know. It was an inside joke."

"I accidentally heated my Hot Pocket for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and now there's a giant radioactive Hot Pocket in my apartment watching my tv"

"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety pills? To prevent Hispanic attacks"

"Child: ""Mama, I'm tired of running in circles..."" Mom: ""Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"""

"Never trust a woman who takes pictures from the neck up."

"Get out, RUN! That DM was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE"

"Samsung Galaxy S7 slogan: Rethink what a phone can do. To be fair, they didn't disappoint."

"""I might be a sex virgin but I'm not a virgin at AWESOME MAGIC TRICKS!"" *trips on cape, knocks over table with punchbowl & cookies*"

"(fully aware that i am always more tired after a nap than i was before) this time will be different"

"Ever heard of jenkem? It's the shit!"