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Joke of the Day

"Smoking studies done on monkeys have shown that compared to the non smoking group, the smoking group looks significantly cooler."

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"How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player? Ask them if they play league."
"What happens if you steal in Afghanistan? You get Talibanned"
"What does a cannibal and a homeless man have in common? They both eat chips off the old block."
"Her: I'm sorry my baby keeps crying. He's got teeth coming in. Me: Well, don't worry, I'll sign for them..."
"How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb? One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was."
"""Here's what I would do..."" - me, giving bad advice"
"The lords army. Chad: My brother, why don't you join the lords army? Bob: I'm already their. Chad: I don't see you on Sundays... Bob: I'm in the secret service."
"MY NECK. MY BACK. MY PJ'S AND MY SNACK."
"Life is like a packet of jelly beans Nobody likes the black ones"