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Joke of the Day

"[Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out"

"A bar walks into a man The bar says, this place stinks, and the only other person here is an asshole."

"My professor just said that the particle of light is like a bullet... The black objects absorb more."

"My girlfriend used Vaseline on a handjob today. I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off."

"A horse covered in floaties gallops happily toward a swimmin pool. He sees a sign ""NO HORSEPLAY"" He lowers his head ""Ok"" & sadly trots away"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"Did you hear about the incest convention? Every mother-fucker was there!"

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire."

"When I'm in the bathroom a long time, I come out sniffing & wiping my nose so people think I was doing coke and not making a doody"

"What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari? [whisper] I don't have a Ferrari."