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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari? [whisper] I don't have a Ferrari."

"A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in."

"My gym teacher said get in line or ill tip a cow. i asked ""how much money are you gonna tip the cow?"""

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"You know why the Germans lost WWII? Because storm troopers always miss."

"Why don't single women fart? Because they only get assholes once they're married."

"ME: Velma cant see anything without her glasses, so in order to find her glasses, she needs to be wearing them PRIEST: Those are your vows?"

"Safe words are for quitters."

"In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups."

"Why did Dr.Pepper blush? He received a Sunkist from his Crush"