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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Tyrannosaurus Rex fly? They're all dead!"

"I always get the last word in arguments with my girlfriend. I just say ""Yes ma'am"""

"Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know."

"Today my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she said I was the other guy."

"I hate when people kick my cats! It really hurts my felines."

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is a little heavier and the other is a little lighter."

"Hey! Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His pants fit like a glove"

"Robin: ""Please?"" Batman: ""No."" ""It's prom!"" ""You can't drive the Batmobile!"" Alfred: ""Can I? It's Bingo night."" Batman: *tosses keys*"

"Our doctor's office painted their examination rooms the color 'Bran Muffin'. They hope to keep our attendance more regular."

"My professor really snapped yesterday, went all crazy on the blackboard during math lecture He really did a number on it. Its days are numbered now. Edit: grammar"