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Joke of the Day

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year."

"I noticed that he called her 'donkey' all night, I asked why and she said....... HEEE-AWWW, HEE-AWWW, HEEEE-AAAALWAYS CALLS ME THAT!"

"Why is it called a Mango? Because Mancome wasn't selling"

"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."

"oooooo ....that went deep I was at the drug store buying condoms and the cashier said .... would you like a bag with those sir.... I said... nahh shes not that ugly....."

"[coming through customs] Okay Sir 1 last thing before we're done. Is there anything you'd like to declare? *slams passport* ""I've had sex."""

"As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it's a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?"

"My girlfriend asked me how much we would spend at our wedding. Me: I don't want to spend very much. Her: I want it to be a ten thousand dollar wedding. Me: Okay, so you, can do that then."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The bitch can suck my dick in the dark for all I care...."

"r/nowifi There seems to be nothing here"