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Joke of the Day

"How did the lion lose at poker? He was playing with a cheetah."

"[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]"

"Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors."

"What do you call a girl without arms and legs? A fuck nugget"

"I was at the bank earlier and an elderly lady asked me to check her balance for her I still don't understand why she was mad when I pushed her over"

"Man marries deaf girl He writes ""we must work out a code: If I want sex I'll stroke ur left breast-U reply by pulling my penis ONCE for YES OR 62 times for NO!"

"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"

"Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is ""married.""nLike that's gonna stop me!"

"don't even talk to me if you can't name all three powerpuff girls."

"If God really made Eve from Adam's rib bone. Then women are really men and we're all gay. Discuss."