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Joke of the Day

"My son just hugged me. Him: You smell good. Me: Like what? Him: *sniffs* You smell like love. Me: *heart melts* Lets go to Toys R Us."

"If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles."

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was too tired..."

"Why did Beethoven hate Mozart? Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach."

"""911, what's the emergency?"" we were robbed. they stole the wireless router ""calm down"" also they shot my grandma or something. not sure"

"One difference between Men & Women is nicknames. Woman: This is Michelle, we call her Shelly Man: This is Johnny, we call him Long Nuts"

"A rolling stone... somebody pushed it."

"My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it."

"Which article of clothing is the most ghetto? A Hoodie."

"Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal."