104810
Joke of the Day
"lady: omg your puppy is so cute whats his name me: laser guardian"
Next Joke
"Blowdryer Incident Bob's wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing? Apparently, ""heating up your breakfast"" was not the right answer!"
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there"
"I hate when people say that I don't like black people I love black people if I could I wold buy myself a few (I'm not a racist in real life though)"
"My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything."
"We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they're not."
"A dialogue between Russians. -Guys, maybe we should stop drinking. -We allready did. We're getting wasted now!"
"I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey."
"""Metric system? You mean the easy measurement system based upon multiples of 10, that every other country uses? Na. We're good."" - America"