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Joke of the Day

"My mum said that if I don't get off reddit and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn"

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it..."

"I want an app that tells me when someone is thinking about me while having sex with someone else."

"Yo mama so fat... She holds her pants up with the bible belt"

"911: What's your emergency? ""I put the Ford in affordable housing."" 911: Are you flirting? ""No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"""

"My son said he couldn't sleep last night because of the thunder. I feel bad for locking him out now."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it, but they'll get fired if they eat it!"

"Why is the universe expanding? It needs more space."

"What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water? A religious movement."