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Joke of the Day

"911: What's your emergency? ""I put the Ford in affordable housing."" 911: Are you flirting? ""No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"""

"i'm gonna build my house on your house and if you even come close to my house that's attached to your house, we'll attack you.. - bees"

"Two Shitty Jokes What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre."

"I tried Tylenol for the first time today. It tasted a lot like cotton."

"A man is talking to a rabbi and asks, ""Do you charge a lot for your circumcisions?"". The rabbi says, ""No, I just keep the tips."""

"The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone."

"What's Canada's spy agency? The CI, eh?"

"Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger."

"Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career. At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it."

"#ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!"