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Joke of the Day
"I want an app that tells me when someone is thinking about me while having sex with someone else."
Next Joke
"After countless scientific trials and errors, I have successfully turned back time. It's emit."
"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"
"I used to be a banker...... but then I got fired."
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino \ _()_/ "
"What did the police man say when he arrested the remote control that beat up his wife? 'I charge you with battery'"
"Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC? Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99"
"What do you call a black widow trapped in a bowl of noodles? Natasha Ramenoff"
"You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line."
"Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7"