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Joke of the Day

"Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached? Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?"

"If I had a penny for every Trump joke made during the election... I could be the president in 2020"

"Roman mythology in 3 words The fuck's plagiarism?"

"Remember that things always get worse before they get better. Unless, you know, you die in the process of it getting worse."

"im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's"

"This week in Science: MRI technology and thought processing... are a hell of a lot cooler than last week"

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"I love dying from sneezing 11 times in a row and being defibrillated back to life with a 12th"

"Have you heard about the guy who posted about a mod's cousin? Once removed."

"Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels."