82050

Joke of the Day

"*desperately tries to get screaming newborn daughter latched onto my nipple* hmmmm. she must not realize I'm a feminist"

"That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask"

"What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of ""Back to the Future""? They Hire 'Em A Biff!"

"This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office Word to your mother"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fucking cock."

"CNN is fucked if their viewers ever discover they can access the Internet on their own."

"[dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches.."

"This Job Fair sucks, it doesn't even have rides."

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"[ Boyfriend walks into the room ] Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night."