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Joke of the Day

"if I were a serial killer, I would target people who scream when they sneeze"

"My Girlfriend says I never listen to her Or something like that"

"If love didn't hurt, it wouldn't be called love...it would be called tacos."

"Soon after we find out Bruce Jenner wants to be a woman, he gets into a car wreck Really getting into character I see"

"Did you hear about the man with no arms or legs that swam the English channel? What a cleverdick..."

"*stares into distance* Distance: Please stop staring. It's rude."

"Live Laugh Love Qstn:Why was there dancing at the barbers'? And: 'Coz they just got 'beered' O.o"

"How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead? You poker face!"

"Did you know sex is hereditary? If your parents didn't have it, you probably won't either."

"Angelina Jolie needs to take some time off her busy schedule of feeding the hungry and poor in third world countries and feed herself for a change."