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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man with no arms or legs that swam the English channel? What a cleverdick..."

"Loving someone and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it."

"Some people's decisions are based in fear, others are based in beer."

"What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic? Plenty of coat hangers."

"My uncle went on holiday to Ireland, but didn't have enough time to go to Clare. He really wanted to see Moher"

"My penis isn't small. It's ""artisanal."""

"I'm in awe of people who can pronounce camaraderie correctly the first, second or tenth time."

"It's getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka."

"I think Australians are obsessed with true information. They keep telling me to ""get fact""."

"[Job Interview] How would you describe your time management skills? Me: Can we talk about this later? I'm late for an appointment."