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Joke of the Day

"Hello? 911? Could you warn the Byzantine empire that Leo VI is going to die next year and they should appreciate him while they can?"

"Happy Thanksgiving Reddit! Let us all give thanks to the day Jesus ate turkey with the pilgrims."

"What Do You Call it When Printers Have a Party? A paper jam"

"Why did Peter Parker get fired? He spent all day on the web."

"SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE"

"My wife called me crazy... CALLED"

"Chinese Takeaway - 24 Petrol To pick it up - 2 Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers. Riceless"

"And the LORD said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit)"

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. ""You've made a grave mistake!"" He fumes."