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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender looks up and says ""Do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your butt?"" The pirate responds, ""Yarrr, its driving me nuts."""

"My girlfriend is a pornstar She will kill me if she finds out. Edit: Holy poop, front page of reddit mum get the camera"

"What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat!"

"What's a suicidal Russian's favorite drink? Cyka bleach"

"Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa!"

"What did the cannibal say after eating a leper? That just fell apart in my mouth!"

"Opening a store called The Gorp! It's exactly like The Gap except we sell gravy."

"I'm writing a song about milking a cow. It's all quarter notes."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil."

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""