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Joke of the Day

"When I asked my friend how he's doing, he said ""man, I'm just happy to be breathing"". I told him he should have bigger aspirations."

"What's Bill Clinton's drug of choice? Blow."

"I thought I could have sex with this Eskimo woman... ... But she wasn't that Inuit."

"Why didn't the bike move? It was two tired. Sorry^that^shit^made^no^sense"

"Fill the pinata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence."

"The ""walk of shame"" should be going to a bar the next morning after being drunk looking for your lost debit card."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff... BA-DUM-TSSSSS"

"When I get overly proud of America, I simply remember that in 1999 we made Mambo No. 5 a number one hit."

"Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie? He'd rather spend his money on a forty"

"What do call a Nazi that takes bribes? Paid-off Hitler!"