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Joke of the Day

"Ever been in the shower, already late, when you feel that colorectal peristaltic action and think ""Damnit, I don't have time for this shit!"""

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"Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up."
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"
"Obama in Berlin joke President Obama in Berlin outlining that maybe massive walls and state spying are not so bad after all."
"Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure."
"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."
"BREAKING NEWS: Overworked Janitor Sweeps the Nation."
"Me: pretty much any name can be unisex My son Stephanie: I hate you dad"
"How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more."
"What do you call a 45 pound Ethiopian? Fat."