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Joke of the Day

"How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... And I said ""that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."""

"I thought of something funnier than 24 25"

"Farting is your ass referring to itself in the turd person."

"What do you call the ghost of a Native American accordion player? Pocahontas"

"I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety."

"[Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*"

"Most offensive joke I know Why are dollars green? Because jews collect them before they ripen."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flys like a banana."

"If my memory gets any worse I'll be able to plan my own surprise party"