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Joke of the Day

"I wonder... ...how many people will read this in the bathroom."

"My chair at work is really uncomfortable. I wonder if a stool softener will work."

"[Job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength?"" ""Sticking my fingers in people's mouths."" ""Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"""

"Two farts are hanging in the couch. Says one fart to the other: ""Dude, what are you gonna do tomorrow?"" pfffffffffffffffffffffffft"

"<<BREAKING NEWS>> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod. Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name."

"I spend 17% of my day wiping the fingerprints off my phone screen."

"I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI... You might say we have a connection."

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

"If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue."

"There are 10 types of people in the world: People who understand ternary, people who don't, and people who thought this was going to be the binary joke."