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Joke of the Day
"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"
Next Joke
"An American and a German were playing ""Thumb War"" ""One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."" ""Five, six, seven, eight, I use this hand to masturbate."" ""Einz, zwei, drei, so do I."""
"Why was Steve Jobbs funeral an open casket? So the attendees could get some face-time."
"Our culture is like a fungus. It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you."
"Very Punny! Eric is just Derek without a D"
"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."
"My dad used to say me ""what ever you do, don't get killed like a pussy"" and this comes from a man that died in his shed."
"BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*"
"QA Engineer Goes To A Bar He orders 1 beer. He orders -1 beer. He orders 644644678 beer. He orders a goat. He orders asdfg."
"Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we're hopeful."