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Joke of the Day

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

"I mailed you a joke from 12 miles away at 43,200 miles per hour. It might take a second for you to get it."

"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? ...To get to the same side"

"Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk."

"my signature move is called ""the Mouse,"" where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon"

"What do you call a drunk executioner? A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes"

"What would people call an old John Cena? John Senile"

"Tried a new flavor from my favorite brand of energy drinks. It was the 2nd grossest taste I've ever had in my mouth. (No offense, Andrea.)"

"My father used to say ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" **BECAUSE WOMEN WILL DESTROY YOU.**"

"What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison."