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Joke of the Day

"I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!"

"Yo mama's so ugly, the day she died and met saiten, saiten made her leader of hell.."

"Why are C programmers poor? They don't have any inheritance. Or... Why should you not date a C programmer? They have no class."

"Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Does. Not. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has.Asthma"

"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."

"[drinks milk from carton] WHY AREN'T YOU USING A GLASS?!? ""I went to the eye doctor"" What does that mean? ""He said I don't need glasses"""

"One time I was checking out this really hot girl and she paid me for it because I was a grocery store cashier."

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"

"What do you call someone who reads in the sun? Well Red."

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because they can't fit in d-shells. Edit: re wording"