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Joke of the Day
"Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman"
Next Joke
"""Do you love me more than you love sleep?"" ""I can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"""
"""Good morning, this is your pilot speaking"" ... ""AND THIS IS YOUR PILOT SHOUTING"" ... ""and this is your pilot doing some sick beatboxing"""
"Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account? Because he only had 12 followers."
"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!"
"Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life? He had no leg to stand on."
"A Jewish kid goes to his dad and says, ""Dad, I need to borrow fifty bucks"". The dad says, ""Forty bucks? I don't have thirty bucks, what do you need twenty bucks for?"""
"What brand of makeup does cap'n crunch wear C'ereal"
"How do feminists get away with murder? They won't let anyone finger them."
"The fact that we're supposed to reuse a vagina after a mini human has crawled out of it kinda bums me out."