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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid goes to his dad and says, ""Dad, I need to borrow fifty bucks"". The dad says, ""Forty bucks? I don't have thirty bucks, what do you need twenty bucks for?"""

Next Joke
 
"A lot of you are calling me ""mom"" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old."
"New twist on an old joke (long) Don't know if this is the right place for this but I think fellow joke-lovers will think it's amazing. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar"
"My New Year's Resolution was to stop masturbating Well I guess there's always next year"
"Once I saw a ghost... It looked like your dick"
"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."
"If someone sends you a link to download the Homer's Iliad, don't download it... It's full of trojans!!"
"""Have you senor self in a mirror lately?"" -Mexicintervention"
"Have you heard my joke about construction? I'm still working on it"
"Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, ""OOOOOOOO!"""