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Joke of the Day

"technology My Grandpa said ""Your generation relies to much on technology."" I said ""No, your generation relies to much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."

"You don't know... ...until you find out!"

"Trying 2 improve my self image, so I placed a note on my mirror that reads ""objects are smaller than they appear."""

"A man walks into a bar with Harambe Bartender: What can I get you ? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Man: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"I like my women like I like my rum... Aged 12 years and mixed up in coke."

"Vaccination awareness is rising Last night I saw a young man vaccinate himself behind a dumpster"

"*on first date* Did you know that wool sweaters are the closest you can legally come to being inside a sheep?"

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"no one knows where the sky starts. ""here?"" wonders one scientist, her hand just above her head. ""how about here"" says another, crouching."

"The USA tells North Korea they cannot act as dictators of the world That's basically it"