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Joke of the Day

"no one knows where the sky starts. ""here?"" wonders one scientist, her hand just above her head. ""how about here"" says another, crouching."

"How much electricity is in the ground? 1 Terrahertz"

"*Watches sad movie* Wife: I like happy endings. Me: me too, but you have to tip more. Wife:... Me: twitter would have liked it."

"When a baby is learning to eat shouldn't he have an L-plate?"

"What do you get if you boil funnybones? A laughing stock."

"Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide"

"[spooky noise comes from my closet] monster under my bed: you heard that too right"

"I've run over seven Koalas and one platypus with my car today and I haven't even left the city yet. Australia's dangerous like that."

"The possibility that I hit REPLY ALL haunts every email I've ever sent."

"She told me to give her nine inches and to make it hurt... So i fucked her three times and punched her in the gut."