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Joke of the Day

"My weekly retreat is simple: driving alone down country roads for a couple of hours with tunes cranked up and singing loudly to livestock."

"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope imsosorry:("

"Who is the hamburgers' favourite actress? Candice Berger!"

"Just asked my hairstylist for the ""Bieber."" He shaved off all my pubic hair."

"Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"

"Probably just one for the Irish but who knows.. What's the difference between an apple and an orange? You can't get an apple bastard."

"How can you tell someone's a navy seal? they'll tell you in their novel."

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd Album? The Dark Side of the Moon... What a filthy casual."

"Little known fact, Alvin wore the big A on his shirt because he slept around."