104008
Joke of the Day
"What do you call the unjust murder of someone? Out of the Blue."
Next Joke
"Talking too much is a sign of insecurity. So is keeping too quiet. So is breathing and having been born a human."
"8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today"
"A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor tells him, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" And the guy's like, ""Wait, why?"" The doctor reploes, ""So I can examine you."""
"I put a bumper sticker on my car that says ""honk if I'm pretty"" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights"
"What has two legs and red all over? Half a puppy... I'm sorry"
"Practicing my ""Eye Rolling"" cause you know... tomorrow's Monday."
"Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? My boner, during my girlfriends period."
"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""
"I got stung by an applebee and now I'm going into bananaphylactic shock."