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Joke of the Day

"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"

"My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird."

"What's the difference between an English pig and a French pig? A French pig goes, ""Oui! Oui! Oui!"" all the way home."

"My grandmother hates it when I make spelling errors One might say she's a grandma nazi."

"'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other"

"""I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."" Said the Malaysian shark."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Hypothermia."

"(Blows you a kiss with chip crumbs hitting your face)"

"I just got condoms installed on my floor today it protects the hardwood."

"[GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!"