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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores."

"I think I made up a joke. What do rappers use to wash their clothes? BLEEE-AAAACH!"

"redneck joke How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"What do you call a teacher who's always late for school? Mr Bus."

"""Does your dad play any sports?"" ""No, my dad hates sports"" *dad walks in* ""Hey there, Sport"""

"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."

"Why do Jews try avoiding Jewpiter? Because its a gas planet! Its also why Hitlers gas bills were so high. *i intentionally said Jewpiter instead of Jupiter*"

"I am not a gay man.. And neither is my husband !"

"When someone asks me if I could hold their baby I immediately drop my phone, try to pick it up and drop it again twice, and then say ""Sure""."