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Joke of the Day

"What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity? Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)"

"[Bank] COP: [through megaphone] LET ONE OF THE HOSTAGES GO ROBBER: Okay, who wants out? ME: [spinning on bosses chair] I'm comfortable."

"Woah guys, did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together? OMg!"

"I would. What kind of idiot would put the punchline in the title?"

"I just had sex with an Astronaut ... It was outta this world"

"I try to buy American, but I just can't find a good domestic finger trap."

"Why do we always see a Dung Beetle with a ball of shit? Because that's how he rolls. ^^/groan"

"Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said ""So sorry man. Hope things work out."""

"Did you guys hear about the new metal band playing at the winery this evening? They're called Grapes of Wrath."

"Donald trump wins miley cyrus said she would leave the country. I'll vote for him if u throw in Justin bieber too. Good way to secure the presidency"