103654

Joke of the Day

"Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate? Because he was running on CP time."

"The IOC has claimed that they will catch Olympic drug cheats. I'm not so sure - they're pretty fucking fast."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. ...because I don't have time to get arrested today."

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic, so am I"

"Nothing more awkward than singing happy birthday to a person whose name you don't know."

"The Rolling Stones should have a reunion tour and call it Rolling Stones Gather No Mas"

"Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains? He had loco motives."

"I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer."

"Kanye West is now on Twitter. Since he doesn't follow anyone, not only will he not let you finish, he's not gonna let you start, either."

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"