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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. ...because I don't have time to get arrested today."
Next Joke
"Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you"""
"ELEVATOR SHOES Q: What's yellow and goes up and down? A: A banana in an elevator."
"What's the difference between a new golf ball and a spoilt child? One's white and shiny, and the other is shite and whiny!"
"Russia is invading Ukraine? US: ""NATO my watch!"""
"Why does a chicken coupe have two doors? If it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan!"
"Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine? He had nothing left to chauffeur it."
"Necessity is the mother of Cessity. Also Shaquanda."
"What do Subway and Chuck E Cheese's have in common? Shitty food."
".. How are you on your grind, if you're on twitter all the time?"