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Joke of the Day

"I ate pelican today Never again. The bill was massive."

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel."

"My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM Did that bother you? Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet."

"I had some Taco Bell the other night. Shit was spewing out of my ass at 88mph. Now everyone at school calls me Doc Brown."

"I went to a blind tasting session the other day... It was a waste of time, they tasted the same as people who can see."

"I took the Quiz quiz and found out I am ""Which Game of Thrones character are you?"""

"Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny."

"I really don't understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it's a solution."

"Women are like grapefruit trees. They ignore me."

"[police show picture of my dead body at bottom of stairs to wife] ""Why no pants on?"" We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell"