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Joke of the Day

"I really don't understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it's a solution."

"What do you call a phobia of chainsaws? Common sense"

"Women are like mechanics. I have no idea what they're talking about."

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt. He says to the bartender ""one for me and one for the road""."

"The inventor of AutoCorrect... ...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off."

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo and I got lookout!"

"What type of punch hurts kids the most? A sandy hook"

"If someone tells you he has a centrifuge on a submarine, don't believe him! It's a subterfuge..."

"[god creating kangaroos] Let's make a horse rabbit."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? An Idontthinkhesaurus."