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Joke of the Day

"""You're so cold, I wished you would just disappear!"" His temperature then dropped to 0 Kelvin and he disappeared"

"A man was arrested for publicly exposing himself to the ""wrong person,"" which implies somewhere out there the right person is waiting."

"did you hear the one about the arguing grandfather clocks? one chimed in and other tocked over him. also they were both racists"

"Why was the mentally challenged midget crying? He was a little down."

"Soviet Valentine's Day You are the hammer to my sickle."

"I like my women like I like my vacuum cleaners Cordless and with powerful suction"

"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM."

"If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel."

"Exercise can add years to your life. This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month."

"Are you today's date? Cause you're 10/10."