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Joke of the Day

"Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?"" ""Two boys are fighting over me"" What is the problem with it? ""The ugly one is winning."""

"How do you make a Bloody Nicole? Like a Bloody Mary, but with a stab of OJ..."

"What did one tonsil say to the other? Get dressed a doctor is taking us out to night."

"I don't like Russian dolls... They're so full of themselves"

"Somebody gets stabbed in London every 57 seconds. Poor bastard."

"Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere."

"One minute, you're getting drunk as a skunk, then the next minute, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be working for the NHS."

"What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life? Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window"

"How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America? By occident"