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Joke of the Day

"i dont give a frick about your car's horse power i want to know about its other powers lets start with duck power"

"Can I ask you two questions? Ok, what's the second one?"

"What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night? Disco Stew!"

"Never underestimate mothers. They can turn ""mayhem"" into ""ma'am"" with one narrowed glance."

"A lion would never cheat on his wife... But a Tiger Wood."

"Did you know Cecil was a black lion? And man, even in Africa, the white people **STILL** be killing tiggas."

"I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?"

"did you hear about the canadian who stole gold? It was a buttload, too!"

"I had a harder childhood than most. My parents didn't send me to a therapist, they sent me to a theanalrapist."

"I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fucking ugly..."