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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die? He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea."

"A: My dog had a nose surgery - B: How does he smell? A: Terrible!"

"When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested."

"Me: I weigh 10x more than the cat and yet she trusts me completely. So sweet. You: Me: You: It's a lot more than 10x. Me: Don't ruin this."

"If life gives you melons... You're probably dyslexic"

"LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no"

"Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub."

"My bike is getting old. I had to retire it."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Get married to her."

"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."