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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."
Next Joke
"Sometimes I take my pet skunk to department stores and let him spray himself all over the perfume girls."
"I bet unscary monsters like to hang out at the back of marathons and imagine all the athletes are running from them."
"Shit, I just wasted a good corn dog, by eating It with no guys around."
"Lion King Today, someone told me Mufasa died 22 years ago. I replied, ""I guess he needs to Mufasa next time so he doesn't die."""
"Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009 What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony? One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it."
"I visited my friend in his flat He told me to make myself at home. So I kicked him out. I hate having visitors"
"If I were a movie villain I'd make a bomb where the wires are all one color."
"(My romance novel) ""You have a pretty face,"" he said. ""Thank you,"" she said, lifting up her bangs. ""I've got even more face under here."""
"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"