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Joke of the Day

"Lion King Today, someone told me Mufasa died 22 years ago. I replied, ""I guess he needs to Mufasa next time so he doesn't die."""

"The woman who first decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize."

"IamA Bing search engine AMA Please. Just ask me something."

"What do a pussy and KFC have in common? They're both finger licking good, and when your done you have a box to put the bone in"

"I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.."

"GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent"

"The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck."

"India's population before the blackout was 1.2 Billion....After the blackout it's supposed to grow by another 300 million:)"

"Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but ""German engineering"" is also why I don't have so many cousins today."

"How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If her ankles swell when she farts."