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Joke of the Day
"""Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?"" I mumbled into the tv remote."
Next Joke
"Pizza is like sex When it's good, it's the best. When it's bad, it's still pretty good"
"So a guy walks into a bar... Ouch."
"Why are 25 of the 26 letters in the English alphabet problematic to Jewish people? Because they're not C's."
"There's something so sexy about a woman who has all the physical characteristics that I was conditioned by the media to find attractive."
"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles"
"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race."
"Bugs Bunny goes to the doctors and the doctor sees him on his phone and asks him, ""What are you doing on your phone?"" Bugs Bunny replies, ""Eh, Whatsapp Doc."""
"First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit."
"I want to start my own distillery, but i'm a bit hesitant.... it's a whisky business."